My kingdom for a season ticket

Stephen Moss of The Guardian reimagines Richard III doffing his cap to the city of his burial in his most famous Shakespearian speech:

Now is the winter of our discontent

Made glorious summer by this championship.

Although, in truth, a York man in my heart

(Though some of course dispute I have that valve)

The Minstermen this term have shown such poor defence

They are condemned to the Conference.


Since Leicester was my final resting place,

Following my reverse at Bosworth Field,

The Foxes have become my second love,

A steady passion for my vulpine ways,

And after last year's fight with relegation

How sweet the plaudits of a smitten nation.


Unheralded when this campaign began

Our team of misfits put the stars to flight.

Vardy, Mahrez, the tireless N'Golo Kante

Huth, Simpson, Schlupp, inspiring captain Wes,

The vigilant Schmeichel patrolling his steely line

Drinkwater you will say, but I prefer wine.


"Who gives a Fuchs ?" That was always my motto.

I rose against the odds to win the crown.

In Leicester I see that same will to succeed,

Doing down the critics and naysayers, all.

I,too, was mocked, my public always wary,

Just like the mighty Claudio Ranieri.


Together we are vindicated, Claudio and I,

My move from car park to cathedral

Mirroring his from tinker to talisman,

The King Power Stadium, how I love that name,

A palace of fire and fury, fame and favour

All funded by Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha.


Next season we will do it all again, and more

Madrid and Munich will feel our stern resolve.

Doubters will mock, bookmakers price us down,

But we will prick their baseless prophecies,

Our team will steer us through the fearsome thicket

Oh, my kingdom for a premium season ticket.




NB  -  Next week:  T.S.Eliot's "The Waste Land" for Charlton supporters:

"April is the cruellest month, breeding

Relegation out of the dead pitch"